Mariam Amini met the person of her goals. However earlier than they may pursue their shared ardour for journey, they needed to unite in her Muslim religion.
‘If we’re to have a future collectively, finally you would need to convert.’
I prevented Christian’s eyes as I stated the phrases I’d been dreading. We had been in my college halls in Warwick. It was a crisp November night again in 2018, and at that time, we had solely been ‘relationship’ for a month.
Christian was raised in Sheffield, within the north of England. He’s of English, Scottish, German and Italian descent. I used to be born in London however come from an Afghan household. Each side of my household fled Kabul following the Soviet invasion in 1979.
We’d met volunteering in Malaysian Borneo solely that summer time, although our relationship had been strictly platonic throughout the expedition.
It was our shared curiosity and love for locating new cultures that introduced us collectively in Borneo. As soon as we returned to the UK, it didn’t take lengthy for a extra romantic relationship to ensue. Within the early days, we might discuss continuously about all of the locations we’d sooner or later like to go to. Above all else, returning to South East Asia was excessive on our checklist.
The extra we mentioned the thought of travelling collectively, the extra excited – and nervous – I felt. Inside Afghan tradition and my religion traditions, you should marry earlier than you possibly can dwell or journey along with your companion. On the time, I simply couldn’t image how it might play out. I wished to be sincere with Christian, however I additionally didn’t wish to scare him away.
Happily, he knew simply what to say to reassure me: ‘If by then, issues are going the best way they’ve been, there isn’t something I wouldn’t do to ensure I don’t lose you.’
Religion and household introductions
Over the subsequent few months, Christian began exploring Islam extra deeply. Typically, after we would converse, he would inform me issues he’d discovered. Satirically, a few of this information was new, even to me. Although I used to be raised in a Muslim family, my dad and mom by no means compelled me to observe past what I felt comfy with. The Quran itself states, ‘Let there be no compulsion in faith’.
Likewise, although it’s not widespread for Afghan ladies to go away residence earlier than marriage, my dad and mom didn’t cease me once I advised them I wished to maneuver out for college. Later, once I stated I needed to review overseas in Berlin for a yr, they supported me.
By December 2018, I used to be prepared to inform my dad and mom about Christian. I advised them the place we met, that he wasn’t Afghan, that he had been baptised a Catholic however was extra non secular. And I additionally advised them of our journey intentions.
They weren’t precisely thrilled to listen to their daughter deliberate to go away indefinitely with a stranger, however once they noticed that I used to be critical, they began to entertain the thought extra. In addition they emphasised that to ensure that us to journey collectively, we might first need to do our Islamic wedding ceremony, referred to as a nikkah.
At that stage, neither of us was prepared to contemplate the nikkah severely. Even so, the next April, I launched Christian to my dad and mom. It was an off-the-cuff dinner in London, adopted by video games at a close-by arcade. I might inform they appreciated his easy-going nature, his well mannered friendliness and his curiosity about our religion.
Engagement and the Nikkah
I graduated in 2019 and, throughout this time, there have been a number of conversations between our dad and mom. Afghans embody a collectivist tradition, so when two individuals come collectively, it marks the union between two households. Christian’s household had been all the time accommodating of this.
For our one-year anniversary, they got here to London the place we held a small namzati (engagement) ceremony. It wasn’t lengthy after this that we determined to do our nikkah.
Up till then, there had been a justifiable share of inner resistance. We had tried to search out methods of travelling collectively the place we wouldn’t need to get married, corresponding to educating English overseas and staying in separate lodging. Neither of us wished to hurry into marriage, however extra importantly, I didn’t need Christian to transform if he wasn’t positive about Islam. My greatest concern was that he would resent me later.
Equally, I knew there wasn’t actually a greater different. If we had gone in opposition to my household’s needs, if I had turned my again on my religion and tradition and left the UK with Christian single, I’d have been shedding an enormous a part of myself.
Fortunately, roughly a yr after our preliminary dialog, Christian advised me he was prepared. We knew we needed to commit totally if we wished to maneuver ahead and journey freely collectively.
Our nikkah passed off at my dad and mom’ flat in London the next January. It was a really intimate gathering with solely quick household. Christian had accomplished his conversion on the best way over, throughout which he had recited the Shahada (declaration of religion) that ‘there is no such thing as a God however Allah and Muhammad is the messenger of Allah’.
In the course of the ceremony, the imam spoke of household, unity and the worth of religion. He requested for our consent and the acknowledgement of our witnesses. We mentioned the mahr, an compulsory reward given by the groom to his spouse, which serves as a type of monetary safety, earlier than signing the wedding contract.
Learn extra: Why we selected to go on honeymoon with strangers
Our indefinite honeymoon begins
4 days later, we boarded an early morning flight to Greece. We visited Athens and Santorini, earlier than taking a one-way flight again to Malaysia – the place we had first met. Touchdown in Kuala Lumpur, a yr and a half after our expedition in Borneo, felt like coming residence.
The thought was to journey round South East Asia for a yr – little did we all know that Covid had different plans. We had been volunteering on a permaculture undertaking on Pulau Bidan, an island north of Penang, when the world went into lockdown. All of the sudden, every part was unsure. We didn’t know when, or if, we might be capable to proceed travelling. However it was this identical uncertainty that impressed me to wish and join with my religion extra repeatedly.
We spent 5 weeks on Pulau Bidan earlier than returning to the UK in April 2020. Nonetheless, it wasn’t lengthy earlier than we discovered one other volunteer undertaking for that autumn, this time olive choosing with a neighborhood household in Croatia.
That chance led to eight months within the Balkans. The next yr, we flew to Mexico and travelled overland for 9 months right down to Bolivia. Although the preliminary journey in South East Asia was minimize quick, our journey plans and ‘indefinite honeymoon’ as we prefer to name it, did finally occur.
Each time we’d meet different travellers, we discovered nice enjoyment in telling them our story. It shortly turned a supply of delight, demonstrating our dedication to each one another and journey. The reactions diverse. Western backpackers would discover it shocking, whereas locals in Malaysia and different Muslim nations appeared happy. However usually, everybody revered the intention behind our choices.
The marriage and a leap of religion
For a very long time, journey was the principle precedence, however we all the time deliberate to have a marriage. So, in 2025, I met Christian on the finish of the altar in Sheffield, stated ‘I do’ (once more) and celebrated our dedication with our family members. Because the nikkah is just not recognised inside UK regulation, we additionally held a civil ceremony.
Nonetheless, the nikkah will all the time maintain a particular place in our hearts. It’s the date we’ve engraved on our new marriage ceremony rings. It’s the day Christian first embraced Islam. Any doubts on the time had been washed away by the actual fact we knew we had been positive about one another.
By taking a leap of religion so early on, our relationship has been outlined by belief, persistence, honesty and safety. And after we did lastly begin travelling collectively, we did it realizing we had everybody’s – together with God’s – approval.
5 years later, our love for each journey and religion stays. Every was on show on the marriage ceremony. My sister recited the Quran throughout our ceremony and we displayed playing cards with our favorite Quranic verses. In the meantime, our desk names had been impressed by our best-loved locations and we had a field inviting company to present us their journey suggestions for the longer term.
In some ways, it seems like the beginning of a brand new chapter. Subsequent up, we’re planning a three-week, six-country journey throughout Central and Jap Europe, which, inshallah (God keen), will take us every to 49 nations.
Plan the final word journey – or indefinite honeymoon – with Intrepid Tailor-Made.
Picture credit score: marriage ceremony images by Bethany Clarke
